::bgnoise:: nothing
::taste:::::: orange flavoured starburst
::mood:::::

so, i'm going to another funeral tomorrow. i guess i'll wear the same thing i wore to the last two. when did life become so filled with death ? its really getting me jaded. jaded... thats a good word.

jad·ed ( P ) (jdd)
adj.
1. Worn out; wearied: “My father's words had left me jaded and depressed” (William Styron).

2.Dulled by surfeit; sated: “the sickeningly sweet life of the amoral, jaded, bored upper classes” (John Simon).

3.Cynically or pretentiously callous.

actually every single one of those definitions are starting to fit me. that makes me sad. but not sad to the point of crying. jaded people don't cry. its sad to think that i used to be happy about everything. maybe its a phase. a phase i can grow out of. a beautifully life changing phase. then all of a sudden i will slip out of this phase. maybe then everyone i love will live forever and things will never have to change. the zoo will always look the same, the logos will stay the same on my juice boxes, and my favorite walgreens down the street won't turn into a high priced apartment complex. my dog will never age, no one will have to move away, family will always get together on christmas and new years day, my hair colour will always be dark brown, my eyes will always be dark brown, and my room will always be messy. but things don't work out that way. why ? because this is the real life. this is what i never saw growing up. it all has to hit you sometime or another and inevitably you'll have to succumb to the change by change. and thats this is real life.

~(¬_¬) kori