::bgnoise:: Magenetic North ::doin' just fine::
::taste:::::: Stale air
::mood:::::

Although it was fleeting I slept still and sound last night. The rain pounded against the window pane and lulled me to sleep around 2:33am. It was surprisingly warm. I didn't have to shut the window all the way and I didn't have to wrap myself up like a stuffed pouch as per usual. It was an odd feeling to be ok by myself. The feeling came full stop once I woke up around 5:51am. I had a seemingly placid dream that turned out to be one of my worst nightmares. :::And I was alright for awhile. Tell me why ? 'Cause I was doing so good for a few hours::: Here's the dream:

I was alone in a dark room. I remember a shaft of light, but it was only enough for me to see shadows and not enough to comfort me. The light came from behind and I could see the silhouette of a doorway in front of me. I never moved in my dream. I didn't really need to. I didn't really want to. I was just there in a room, by myself, watching a door. Maybe I was waiting for someone to walk through that door. Maybe I was trying to get the courage to walk out that door myself. Maybe I was just waiting and watching and nothing more.

Someone please ask me if I'm alright. When I answer, don't believe a single word that comes out of my mouth. I lie. Sometimes I think that if someone just taps in just a little bit a whole fountain will pour out. I feel like the Hoover Dam sometimes. I know you say you want to hear about what's really going on in this fucked up little head of mine but I'm not sure if you really do. Hence why I started writing again.

I never knew a satellite could be a star but it's always appeared that way from a distance. I've always had a hard time distinguishing between the two.

I like looking at the sky. I don't question why or how it all works it just does and that's alright with me. The night sky has been clear the past few days. Clear enough to see a billion and one stars.
Clear enough to get lost in the enormity of it all.

The sky is a big deal even though we don't really think about it that much. Sometimes I like to think it can hold me in one place forever but of course it can't.

I need to learn to organize my thoughts...

My brain paused--I gotta jump up and down to get it to warm up. I think I had a little too much caffeine.